Egocentric
by Orchestra-Eight
Summary: "Dear God. I won't let him near any form of pork ever again if you just get him away from me!"  Jesse sings silly songs at Rachel but needs him to be serious because she has something huge she really wants to tell him. Prompt was: 'Stop quoting movies and songs and listen to me! This is serious'  A silly little St.Berry! fluffy one shot.
1. My Girl

Rach…..please come out," a distinctly male voice called from outside the door a silently sobbing Rachel Berry leaned against. "I just wanna talk Rach, or sing about it. Tell me what's wrong? Please?"

The petite brunette sighed distractedly, and sealed her fate by opening the eggshell white bathroom door a crack, "I don't want to talk Jesse. I'm mad at you."

He pouted slightly, his lower lip jutting out and his eyebrow raising to indicate his confusion and dislike of the situation. Rachel thought he looked so ridiculously perfect that she almost gave in and opened the door further. Holding her ground while he sulked, she shot him an irritated glare. "Please Rach?"

"Jesse, I really don't want to talk about it. Just take you're sadness somewhere else." She stated firmly, trying to put on her best 'I am in control' face, but failing slightly. Her cheeks were pink and eyes rimmed red with unshed tears, and her tone was far less demeaning than Rachel wanted it to be.

Jesse paused, and Rachel almost grinned at her ability to come out on top but frowned even deeper when she remembered why they were even having this conversation. He glanced at the ground briefly, before he turned the left side of his mouth up into his usual cocky smirk and crossed his arms into one of the defensive stances her therapist had told her about in their last session. "Rach honey, you know I don't own emotion, I rent."

Rachel's jaw dropped, her eyes bulging out of their sockets in disbelief. "Jesse St. James! How dare you quote Rent at a time like this! This is serious! You know what? If I believed in violence I would probably hit you!" She exclaimed in outrage, her face flushing a deep red.

"I'm a New Yorker. Fear's my life." Jesse stated bluntly, his smirk now extending to a complete smile. He cocked his hip out to the side and shifted his one eyebrow upwards in challenge.

"Jesse, I swear to god. If you quote that movie one more time you'll be sleeping on the couch for weeks." she huffed, secretly pouting. She pulled the creaky door the rest of the way open and copied his stance as an invitation to see his punishment if he pushed her further.

"You're a world class liar, darling. Go out there and lie for Italy. Lie for Italia." He spoke in an accent, and dramatically snuck closer, adjusting the misplaced collar on her button down blouse, replicating the scene from the musical. His smirk grew wider by the second.

"Oh so its Nine now then? Sneaky Jesse. Sneaky, yet totally not funny! My god why are you so infuriating? I loathe you sometimes," she growled daintily, her cheeks going red in anger and slight amusement. She knew he was just trying to push her buttons but she couldn't help but feel backed into a corner.

"Unbewievable. Stwaight to the ewephant." He said, somehow both mocking her and impersonating Toulouse perfectly. He twirled his invisible moustache and puffed his chest out noticeably to make it seem like a joke, but Rachel wasn't laughing.

"Moulin Rouge? Really St. James." she huffed indignantly "You get irritated if I so much as talk to Finn, so I stopped conversing with him as much, just for you. So maybe I expected a little decency in return, but no, of course not. When you start exasperating me do you stop? No. Why? Because you're Jesse St James. Ugh, you aggravate me so much!" she spat, the slight humour from before completely evapourated from her voice.

"It's not that I'm not a jealous man. I just don't like other people touching my things, Rachy" he said with a giggle.

"You are the most frustrating man I've ever met St. James, and I dated Finn for two years. After that whole time the Frankenteen still did not understand the meaning of incorrigible!" Her face was turning a tone of purple from all her ranting but Jesse allowed her to press on. "You know what Jesse, that's you in a nutshell. Crazy, ego-centric and completely, utterly INCORRIGIBLE!" she huffed, irritated and cranky. "Dear God. I won't let him near any form of pork ever again if you just get him away from me." Rachel mumbled to herself.

_"I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter," _he sang melodically, in perfect pitch, striving with his song choice for Rachel's breaking point. The flawlessness of his tone only made her more angry, and as he stood and watched her fume, Jesse decided that he was pretty sure all it would take was a slight push to shove her off the edge.

_"I guess that's why they call it the blues, times on my hands could be time spent with you.." _he whispered softly, the melody-a favourite of his-easily rolling off his tongue _"…rolling like thunder, under the covers." _He sang it with such nonchalance, such taunting, that he saw her façade break right in from of him.

"JESSE ST JAMES! Stop quoting movies and songs and listen to me! This is serious! I'M PREG-" She violently clasped her hands over her mouth before the rest of the word came out, even though it was obvious he had caught on to the meaning of the unfinished statement. Her chocolate eyes looked up at him in horror and sadness, a twisted feature appeared upon her face and Jesse began to panic. He was confused as to how he was feeling himself and she was noticeably breaching the limit of control. Jesse, along with anyone else who had met the petite brunette knew that if he didn't act now, there was going to be an epic Defcon 1 Rachel Berry breakdown.

_"So you're having my baby and it means so much to me,"_ he started, slow, unsure if he was doing the right thing or of where the song came from in the first place, but as a glint of a smile appeared in her eyes, he added more force to his voice, and the words came flowing more strongly.

_"There's nothing more precious, than to raise a family, and if there's any doubt in your mind, you can count on me." _He smiled confidently and he found it to be one of the most genuine, non-show face smiles he's ever had grace his face. He lifted his hand unconsciously and cupped her face. Rachel leaned into his hand, her smile mirroring his.

_"I'll never let you down, lady, believe in me. You and I, will never fall apart. You and I, we knew right from the start…" _he trailed off there, satisfied he made his point. "You know how much I love you right Rach. I mean, I used to think I wasn't capable of emotion, but… I know I love you."

"You're happy? " she asked meekly, her voice raising a few octaves like is often does when she's nervous, and it only makes want to protect the small girl before him. 'Yeah," he said shyly, his voice lowering from his nerves, and breaking from his constant quoted responses, "Yeah, I think I'm actually really happy."

Rachel grinned her huge, megawatt, 'I'm a star' smile and Jesse beamed so brightly in return it almost felt like his show face. Yet it didn't hurt like it used to, it felt well, amazing. For once Jesse felt less like the soulless automaton he used to be, he felt….human.

"No more quotes?" she questioned cheekily, snuggling into his side and burying her face into his chest.

He smirked and stepped away cautiously, brushing his hair over his face and getting down on his knees.

"_And I was like Baby, baby, baby, ooh!" _he sang while trying his hardest not to burst out laughing. Rachel however, didn't have as much success as Jesse and doubled over laughing, trying her hardest to stifle her obnoxiously loud chuckles with her hand. Jesse reached over and pulled Rachel gently down to the floor so she was sitting in between his legs. He sang quietly into his love's hair, reaching around to softly rub circles with the pad of his thumb onto her still flat stomach. _"I don't need no money, fortune or fame. I got all the riches baby, one man can claim. Well, I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way?"_

She sighed and leaned into his embrace singing along with her fiancé as he sang the two words she loved to hear the most.

_"My girl."_


	2. Authors note! Don't hurt me ! lol

Authors Note! Sorry

.net/s/6576175/1/St_Berry_Contest

See this link? Yes? Go to it(just add fanfiction to the front). I wrote this story for this contest and I don't want to be the only person to enter.

I mean seriously. I have never shipped St. Berry in my life but the prompt was just so amazing that I had to write it. I actually kind of love this now. So please, write some fanfics people so I have some competition! Cred goes to MissElliexXxXx for the only prompt that's ever been able to inspire me to write about something I usually hate. Sorry St. Berry fans. I'm a Puckleberry shipper :J


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